07 Nov Tami’s Blog: Taking Care of Siblings

“Brothers and sisters are as close as hands and feet”
-Vietnamese Proverb

I don’t just work “at” Ronald McDonald House – my office is IN Ronald McDonald House! One of the really special things about being on staff here is that we are working in and among the families we serve, all day every day. We don’t have a “staff coffee pot” and a “guest family coffee pot,” we just have a coffee pot! The kitchens are shared, the common spaces are shared, our entryways and exits are shared. We, quite literally, are all in this together.

My greatest joys throughout the workday are interacting with the families we serve, and often that includes with siblings of the sick child in a family. Recently that meant foam-sword fighting with 3-year-old Cannon while his baby brother, Silas, was in the hospital. Not long ago I made sure to give an equally big hug to 14-year-old Mia as the hug I gave her twin sister fighting cancer. And just a few days ago I helped a 6-year-old big sister work on identifying letters as I typed them onto a screen (“let’s spell your name!”), to entertain her for a few minutes while her mom prepared to head back up to the hospital to see her little brother, Ben.   

Dr. Audrey Evans, one of the founders of Ronald McDonald House 50 years ago, said, “A family with a sick child is a sick family, so you must think about everybody – the siblings, the mother, the father, maybe grandmother. You must remember that they’re part of a group.” So we provide wraparound, family-centered support here at Ronald McDonald House, strengthening families – whole families – when children need healthcare. 

But rather than writing my perspective about the whole-family impact of Ronald McDonald House, I’ve invited a “guest blogger” to share a few words! Anna and Aaron Wells are from Austin TX, and their sweet family recently spent 51 nights at Ronald McDonald House in Kansas City. Their 7-year-old daughter, Veronica, needs periodic and complex medical care due to a series of strokes when she was younger, and staying at Ronald McDonald House means that Veronica’s sister, Claire (10), and her brother, Micah (5), can stay close during her treatments. Here’s what their mom, Anna, had to say!

Claire, Veronica and Micah Wells

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Life-altering diagnoses affect every member of the family, no matter how old or young. 

Being away from home and its comforts for treatment is hard, but leaving siblings or parents behind makes it even harder. Coming to RMH and being able to bring Veronica’s siblings was important for her because they are her biggest fans and cheerleaders, and they make life normal in the middle of hard things. 

For me … leaving my other children behind and having to figure out the logistics of their care would have been a nightmare. Plus, it would have torn my family apart during a time when we all really needed each other.

It was very healing because most of Veronica’s life has been focused on her, while her siblings have been often last in line. While at RMH, we actually got multiple opportunities daily to prioritize time with our other children. While Veronica did therapy, we went and did fun things together. Yes, it was hard not having her with us but it did allow us to have quality, one-on-one time with our other kids that they have missed for many years of Veronica’s diagnosis. 

Veronica’s diagnosis will last a lifetime and require many programs out of town. While maybe this is not the life we thought we would have, we have found ways to make it fun and exciting even when it’s hard. Ronald McDonald House creates space for that for everyone!